Defusion involves distancing, disconnecting or seeing thoughts and feelings for what they are (streams of words, passing sensations), not what they say they are (dangers or facts). 

• Notice what’s happening – your thoughts, physical sensations, emotions, images, memories.  Notice the way you’re interpreting what they mean, and how that’s affecting you.

• Notice the unhelpful thoughts.  It can help to say them differently, in a non-threatening way: slowly, in a squeaky or comic voice or write them down.

• Identify the emotion you’re feeling, and label the unhelpful thoughts
  • an evaluation
  • a prediction
  • a feeling
  • a sensation
  • a justification
  • a memory
  • a thinking error (mind-reading, negative filter, catastrophising, personalising etc)

   

• Learn more and practice mindfulness so that you can be aware of when you are in the present moment rather than being ‘in your head’ - perhaps the past or future.  Notice what you don’t normally notice – sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts, textures etc.

• Use metaphors try to see things differently.  E.g.
  • Passengers on the Bus
    • You in the driving seat, all passengers (thoughts) chattering, being critical or shouting out direction.  You can allow them to shout, but can keep focused on the road ahead.
  • Playground Bully
    • Victim 1 – believes the bully, distressed, reactive (bully carries on)
    • Victim 2 – challenges the bully (bully eventually gives up)
    • Victim 3 – acknowledges then ignores the bully, changing focus of attention.
  • The River
    • Items floating down the river – perhaps leaves or bits of mucky debris (thoughts, feelings, images) – instead of struggling to stay afloat, we can stand on the bank watching it all go by
  • The Beach Ball
    • We try to hold the ball under water, but it keeps popping up (thoughts).  We can allow the ball to float around us, not intruding.
  • Thought train
    • Either watching the scenery go by, or standing on platform watching the thought train pass by – we don’t have to jump on it.
  • The Tunnel
    • When we get anxious driving through a tunnel, the best option is to keep going to the other end, rather than stop or look for an exit in the tunnel.
  • The Mountain
    • Whatever the weather, or whatever happens on the surface of the mountain, and even within it – the mountain stands firm, mostly unaffected.  Strong, grounded, permanent.

     

• STOP, STEP BACK, OBSERVE (the thoughts and feelings, what’s happening to/for the other person).

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Adapted from Ciarrochi & Bailey 2008