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Name | Matt De La Mare |
| Aliases | Pants | |
| Height | ||
| Weight | ||
| Position | Midfielder, defender (occasionally) | |
| Age | ||
| Has a large collection of yellow and green cards (all from the same umpire). This umpire has a particular hatred for Matt and has "yellowed" him for shrugging his shoulders. Can turn players inside out with his skill but can't get a wallet out of his pocket. | ||