Colombians
II Vs Beavers, Saturday 01 November 2003
Author: Spewing
Score: 6-0
Can't
remember much about the game due to no sleep and the early start (11am).
The
weather was fine and so was the quality of hockey played!!! The Colonel made his
normal mazy runs picking up 2 goals, the first was scored with his foot but hey
they all count. Turbo Monkey (Mr Cleal the dancing machine) bagged one making us
all look slow by sprinting up the pitch (sometimes with the ball), tripping over
regaining his balance and then after some silky skills putting it past the
keeper, WHAT A GOAL!!! The other goals came from Fun Size and Guido.
Our
defence as normal was ever strong with Disco, Doggard, Guy, Ratfans and the Log
at the back making it look easy. Alex (Kev) was in nets making the odd save here
and there but nothing really troubled him so he spent most of the time dreaming
about wheels and body kits. In the Middle we had Myself, Mash, Fun Size and
Colly who linked up well with both the defence and the attackers (Colonel &
Turbo). My man of the match went to Mash for his composure on and off the ball.
WELL
DONE LADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colombians II Vs UHC II, Sunday 26th October, 2003
Author: Harbhajan
Score: 5-1
Colombians II went into the game expecting one of the
tougher tests of the season so far and Colombians II did make it tough!
A first half of equal chances and possession saw Colombians take the lead from a
unlikely source - Mash. The defender come stryker producing a sublime finish,
getting on the end of Pete Carey's strike into the D to allow the ball to come
across him and with back to goal slip the ball under his armpit and spin into
over the goal line. Unwantables and Colombians were together stunned - the ball
didn't even hit the backboard! Then Unwantable Jamie Hamilton got on the end of
an opportunistic ball from the Unwantables midfield taking the ball past the
love struck Scooner. Score 1-1 at halftime.
The normal dressing down from Disco followed: "We're making life hard for
ourselves lads..." So after the restart Disco subbed himself and spent the rest
of the game on the bench! However, the talk from Disco produced the required
effect and two short corner strikes from Guido put light between Colombians II
and the opposition. During the second half Scooner stopped absent mindedly
planning his wedding to his new missus and a string of fine saves from him kept
the distance between the teams. Colly bagged a nice finish from the top of the D
and there could have been many more with chances from Kees, Normski, Colly and
Spewing all finding the keeper. The final blood went to the Colombians with Kees
getting on the end of a fine cross from Colly to bag one of the goals he should
have scored - yardage for the strike, 1 yard!
A word must go to Unwantables referee baiting captain, the moustachioed Karl:
"Don't make it a pleasure for them", after the fourth goal stung Unwantables
backboard. Colombians II responded in the only way they know how - a goal within
a minute the restart! A what a pleasure that was!!"
Colombians II Vs Senior Vets, Sunday 19th October, 2003
Author: George Doors
Score: 4-0
Awaited
Colombians II Vs Generals, Saturday 11th October, 2003
Author: Ace Hole
Score: 4-0
With all Colombian travelling support banned from travelling to this potentially explosive fixture, it was always going to be an emotional day for the yellows. But that’s not to say there were no fans pitchside, oh there were ………yes…..…rat fans !
Indeed, there to see Roland wag his stick……..and wag he did ! On many occasions he could be seen simply eating up ground down the left flank.
After a low key first 10, the generals desperate back line was first penetrated by fun size, which you could tell he enjoyed, then came the tap in from Colonel Mendoza. Third on the score sheet was Spewing with a right cracker ! But the day was all about the ace, and the man duly produced on 74 minutes with footwork straight off the streets of Cartagena and a bullet that bruised the backboard - his team mates looked on in awe, many speechless.
Scooner, sporting his new “manc” haircut with attitude to match, was also worth a mention, unusually for him, leading by fine example . It was just unfortunate that he had to stop the entire game just because he fancied some lucozade of all things – (his fascination with jockstraps is also worrying some of the players).
Others excelling on the day were fun size, doing all sorts of crazy circular shit in the middle of the park and spewing whom many touted for man of the match had the ace not been around.
Despite Ken Reaper’s attempts to upset the teams rhythm especially that of our filthy Turkish winger, the guys showed immaturity far short of their years to pull through rightful victors.
Colombians II Vs Junior Vets, Saturday 4th October, 2003
Author: Clarice
Score: 7-2
The scene was set then from last seasons 3-3 draw which saw
Colombians 2's win the 2 nd Division yet again.
The sun was shinning and everyone bar three players
attended with clear heads. Harbajan looked liked he had a little too many at the
The game started and once the cob webs were blown out Colombians actually got off to a flying start with the Colonel using his sniper techniques to fire home into the bottom corner. After that our guys went into relapse as Scooner let in yet another soft goal. The game went on, end to end, when Fun Size, who said he was going to ill on the pitch, nabbed a wee goal for the record books.
The game stayed like that until, well, what can I say, the
Colonel
Then it was time for the hat-trick which came from He's a Baby. Yes, you guessed it, three short corners on the trot hit home by our very own friendly giant Mr Mallet. Who said he can't score (goals that is).
Anyway after a goal here and a goal there the game ended
7-3 in Colombians favour.
Colombians II Vs College 2nd XI, Friday 26th September 2003
Author: Disco
Score: 3-1
After a shaky start, during which College managed to open
the scoring with a scuffer that wrong footed Chicken Legs from the top of the
'D', the 2nd's slowly took control. A combination of shorter passes and better
movement off the ball created numerous chances for Road Runner & the Colonel;
unfortunately none were taken.
The equaliser finally came from the third short corner of
the half, Guido drilling the ball straight down the middle. The college
threatened to hit back, often singling out Harbhajan's lack of match fitness,
but the defence remained strong until half time.
The second half was a procession, the only question being
how many we'd score. Fun Size got on the end of a speculative cross from Doggard
to make it 2-1 and Harbhajan completed the scoring, crashing home a short
corner.
Three hours later Doggard was on a water break!
Colombians II Vs Yobbos II, Saturday 20th September 2003
Author: Chicken Legs
Score: 10-0
Saturday, in glorious weather, saw the start of The Colombians II long and arduous campaign to retain, for a third year running, the Holy Grail itself, the Investec Men’s Division II Winner’s Trophy. As our intrepid heroes stepped onto the field of battle, they looked at the opposing ranks of the Yobbos, and noticed that they were without their talisman and playmaker, Batman. The Colombians knew that this was going to be massacre of medieval proportions.
And it was.
The Colombians were relentless in attack, didn’t budge an inch in defence and their passing was as fluid as a sprightly mountain stream. The Yobbos had no answers to the Colombians probing questions, which mainly came from debutant Matt ‘Crespo’ Baines. Baines arrived for his first game like he was straight off the set of Baywatch. Long haired (hence the Crespo tag), tanned, and with male model looks. As Ace Hole was heard to say in the bar after the game - ‘Yeah! He was good looking!’ Crespo’s second goal was a joy. An undercut from the top of the left hand side of the D, that almost took Dave ’Big Dave’ Clayton’s head off in the Yobbos goal. Crespo scored three other goals, all of them rocketed into the backboards.
As Crespo was spectacular, The Colonel was Linekar-esq. The total yardage of The Colonel’s four goals came to 5 yards, with one goal that looked like the ball bounced off The Colonel’s nose, as he tried to use his face as a brake. The other two goals came from the man of the match, Ashley ‘Roadrunner’ Northgrave.
Now Roadrunner, could have been awarded plenty of other nicknames – Flash, due to his speed down the left flank (he looked like he was attached to a parachute), Showboat, due to his outrageous step-overs and tricks and Jay-Jay, for the same reason. But it was the nickname Roadrunner, awarded to him by the Yobbos centre-forward, who noticed that when he called for ball from The Beserker, in his nasal South-African tones, sounded like the annoying cartoon character – Pete, Pete. Pete, Pete. His two goals were both crackers - bullets from the top of the D.
The rest of the team put in good performances. Little and large in the centre of defence – Fun Size and Mash were reliable, George Doors and The Beserker bossed things in midfield, Spewing and Acehole effective, and Danny Shaw on his debut was tops. He didn’t make any cock-ups, which is a shame, as he still doesn’t have a nickname... And Scoones with his one touch of game, looked the absolute class act that he is.
The trophy, on this performance, might as well be at the engravers already…..